When life hands me lemons…I make Vodka!

As a daycare provider, I have many many stories of crazy children, full moon behavior, and even a list of pet peeves. Which I’ll share eventually. But, I want to talk about the situations that take unexpected turns. Those stories that make you shake your head and wonder how the hell that person made it to 30! Or in my case, the stories that make you understand why some animals eat their young. My friend and I call these scenario’s, exersaucer conundrums.

Here’s the set up, you need to do something. Like run to the restroom, or start lunch, or clean something up, whatever it is. But, you have a child that is… a little shit… a little difficult. Yes, you know the one. THE ONE! We all have one! You know that if you turn your back on them for one second, they are climbing on something, turning something over, pulling out all the toys and dumping them out, you name it, they do it. They are the kid that makes you re-think your entire life. They are the one that you know that if something catastrophic happens their parents are the ones who would same some shit about how you don’t watch the kids close enough even though you DON’T EVER LEAVE THEM ALONE! So you have to, no YOU NEED to put them into something that will keep them safe and save other kids from what ever crazy thing they get into and out of harms way while you do what you need to do. So you put them in an empty pack n play, a highchair, or AH HA! An Exercauser! Genius! Why an exersaucer? Well because folks, it has stuff on it! Stuff they can play with while you do whatever it is you need to do. And because they are doing something and not just sitting there in an empty pack n play you feel better about locking them up! Of course because they are difficult simply putting them IN the exersaucer looks a bit like trying to staple jello to a tree.

You pick the little stinker up and as you are just about to place them flawlessly into the contraption, guiding their legs into the holes of the cover and you think “FANTASTIC” one leg goes in and you  set the rest of them down and think you are in the clear. Just to discover as you were placing them in the exersaucer they manged to pull one leg in and its now stuck underneath their little body. So you pick them up just a bit to try to get that leg out from underneath them. But these little buggers are slick. You’ve lifted them up just enough for them to wiggle that other leg out and get that one stuck underneath them at about the same time you fixed the other leg. And this goes on for a minute maybe two. Depends on if you’re more stubborn than they are and are willing to keep up the shenanigans and prevail over the battle of the exersaucer! You’ve prevailed! You finally got them in the exersaucer without the threat of cutting off the circulation in their legs from having them trapped under the weight of their tiny body. Except now you have forgotten what the hell you were going to do that you needed them in there to begin with. Screw it, I’m sitting down for a minute!

This is the life of a childcare provider. Just when we think we’ve got it, something always wiggles its way back up the hole to fuck it all up!

Stop I'm peeing

Kids and Parents and Business OH MY!

Over the last 2 weeks I have been diving into my new adventure. Full force, both feet in, balls to the walls. I am so information overloaded that I literally had to take a break last Friday from reading and watching information videos and classes that I literally turned off my computer and phone and the ipad. Holy shit right?! Who does that? I came back to the real world and realized that yes, I was still a daycare provider and yes I still had my own family to care for. Overwhelmed much? We all feel that way sometimes. Whether we are parents at home, working parents, babysitters, nannies, daycare providers, whatever we are doing in our life we get overwhelmed and just need to “Turn off” sometimes. I realized am not yet the big shot MLM guru that I imagine myself to be. Yes my adventure is an MLM! Don’t judge. I’ll explain later. I’ll get there but I learned I needed to slow down, stop learning (Because I’ve learned enough for now), and start doing. So here I am, procrastinating on my blog. Just Kidding, I do have a point.

I really wanted to give you guys an idea of what my life is like as a spouse, a mom, a daycare provider, and now a business momtrepreneur. No I don’t think that is a word but lets pretend shall we?!  I do all of this and then I also decided to take on a blog too. CRAZY! So a typical day might look like this…

My alarm goes off at 5am. I hit the snooze until 5:15. 5:30 if I’m really exhausted. I get up and get dressed do all my normal morning stuff and if I’m lucky I might have 20 minutes of time left to do whatever I want to do before I have to wake my son up to get him ready for school. I get him up and get his breakfast, usually a homemade protein bar. I’ll talk about those in another post. He sits on the couch eating 2 protein bars for about 40 minutes while I make sure that the floors are vacuumed, toys are in place, and everything is ready for my daycare. at 6:45 I go wake up my daughter because she has to go with us to take bubba (That’s her name for her brother). I get her a protein bar too because god forbid she not have something to eat the second she wakes up. I get her shoes on and make sure my son has everything he needs to take to school. If I’m lucky we get out the door by 7am. Sometimes 7:05am if my son has decided that he either cannot located his sunglasses or his fidget spinner. (Those things make me batty) I get him to school by 7:10 and I’m on my way back him to receive my first daycare child around 7:20-7:30. From that moment on my day is just chaos. I receive children into my home until 9am. That is a policy that I implemented because I was getting too many kids coming in at 10 and 11. And then by that time its almost lunch and nap time. So they were missing out on learning and I also felt like I spent my entire morning just waiting on people. And that’s not fair to anyone. We do a learning activity, do circle time, read a book, go outside, yada yada. Around 11am I start getting ready for lunch and then we lay down around 12:30.

I get my break time between 1pm and 3pm. This time is sacred ground! Like draw a circle around me, throw some salt, call the sand man, leave me alone because I need this time to re-group! And if you are a provider also, even a parent, you understand where I’m coming from. Because god forbid if I don’t get my 2 hours of peace I am not a happy camper. It’s almost like me not getting my cup of coffee in the morning. DO. NOT. TALK. TO. ME.

3 o’clock rolls round and I’m getting the kids up and pottied and nap stuff put away and getting snacks out. The afternoon is pretty chill. Its the end of the day and I generally let them pick what they want to do. Until everyone is done with snack I usually have the finished ones read a book nice a quietly while we finish up. Then they can pick what they want to do.

Around 5 o’clock we clean up, get shoes on, and we either sit and watch a cartoon or we go run around outside while we wait for parents to show. Depends on which kids are left at that time. Because trust me, some of those kids can’t handle going out front as opposed to the back yard! Yeah I don’t know.

Once all the kids are gone for the day I get to fix dinner for my family, get my own 2 kids fed, ready for bed, and in bed for the evening. If I’m lucky that can all happen from 5:30pm to 8pm. But lets face it, I rarely get them BOTH in bed by then. That’s wishful thinking. It’s usually 8:30pm – 9pm before they are both in bed. And then I have my own personal goal of getting to bed between 9:30-10pm. Its for health reasons. We can talk about that later too.

So that’s my typical day. Then we have weekends. And because we have a blended family sometimes we have all the kids together and sometimes we have 2 of the 3 while the other one is with their other parent. (my husband has a daughter that is a few months older than my son from a previous relationship).

And then you say “But Sarah! You said you are on another adventure. How do you have time for all of that?” Great question! I don’t fucking know. I’m just going to do it. And I would love an audience!

Doors open

The Leaky Bottle

AAHHHH! That’s not a scream. Well, it could be if you knew where I was writing this. (Ehem. On the kitchen bar while the kids eat snack) It’s the sound of angels singing and giving me praise for creating “The Leaky Bottle” blog.  And yes, a golden ray of sunshine is shining down on me. Oh wait, thaaaaat’s pee. Great! It could be worse. A. LOT. WORSE.

I am a mom. A mom of 2 great kids. Yes absolutely every once in a while I want to sell them on the black market. But I quickly get over it and love them like the little gems they are. My first born son, he’s 10. And he is amazing. He has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. He is compassionate and kind. He makes friends easily and he is the best big brother a girl could ask for. My second born. She’s 2. And exactly like me. Its a little scary because I know exactly what she’s thinking. And anyone that knows me knows that I’m a little off my rocker. So I know what I’m in for when she becomes a teenager. Scary.

I run a small in home child care business. At first it was a means to supplement mine and my husband’s income. So not all of the pressure of making an income fell on him. It quickly turned into a means of survival and it has blessed me in more ways than I can think of.  I have had the pleasure of caring for some truly amazing families and have made some life long friends in the process. And though I have enjoyed my time as a child care provider, I am turning to a new adventure.

I’m finding myself at the closing end of my child care business. Which is bitter sweet. It helped me survive in utter chaos but it has also made me question what I know. I have been in the child care business for more than 15 years. I have seen a lot. I have cared for many children from many walks of life and with many different capabilities. So I as I move on with the next chapter of my life I would like to share with you my stories and experiences in the child care world.  To be a voice and a sounding board for child care providers out there who may not have the luxury of speaking up. Many of us can not for fear of losing our income so we stay silent and suffer through in order to provide for our families.

I am not someone who sugar coats things. I am sarcastic and honest. Much of what I say will probably offend the masses. It’s not meant to be offensive, just meant to be the truth. I will talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Keep in mind that in my journey to take you through my adventures that I am trying to make light of some difficult situations. Humor is sometimes the only way to remain positive about negative situations. Sit back, relax, laugh, and enjoy my chaotic life!

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